Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I just gift wrapped bread.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
