is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
A+ Viking dick
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
