bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
