I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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