just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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