I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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