There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Randomize
