i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
