he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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