I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
