Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I have already put on my inside pants.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Panties = found
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
