Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
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