You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
