i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
