lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
