i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
