Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
