I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
