remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
