totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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