They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
