sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
