he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
