I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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