Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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