Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
