Please, let me fuck your mom
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
