So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
