I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
