I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
