we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
