If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
The beer is more important than you right now.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
