i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
