I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
