I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
