Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
so that wasnt chicken after all
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
