i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
