i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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