is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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