So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
