And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
