I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
