just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
