OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
