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• (419): View more from Ohio

  my computer doesn't work...

  (619): View more from California

  why?

  (419): View more from Ohio

  i puked on it last night

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.

  (1-814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.

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• (308): View more from Nebraska

  Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.

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• (315): View more from New York

  HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC

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