just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
