I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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