Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
