Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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