super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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